The Conversation they Never had
by ultimatepencilsharpener
Summary: Edward could never read Bella's mind. Bella never was always too unsure to tell Edward exactly what she thought. What if with a little help and some pen and paper, Edward finally got to see what was happening inside her head. R&R flames accepted! T incase
1. Llama

_**Authors Note:**__ This is a story of what I feel should have happened when Bella and Edward talked. Be patient please, it might be unclear at first but I have a really clear direction of where I want to take this story._

I nervously entered my bedroom, closing the door and I checked my clock anxiously, counting the time until Charlie came home; 2 hours and 12 minutes; that should give me just enough time to have this awkward conversation with Edward. I really didn't want to do this but I also knew I didn't have a choice. Taking a deep breath I crossed to the window, why was it that when confronted by an army of newborn vampires after her blood I didn't bat an eyelid but when it came to talking to my loving fiancé, who would do absolutely anything to protect me, I felt like running away as fast as I could, probably screaming my lungs out?

Summoning all my courage I threw open my window,  
'Edward?' I called, 'Edward, are you there?'  
Of course he was, he sprung lithely and catlike through the second floor window, my own personal Greek God, he could have used the door, nobody else was home, but he never did. I guess he just liked showing off.  
'Of course my love,' he murmured, bringing me close to him. I tried to stop myself from getting lost in his dreamy eyes or forgetting myself in his hypnotic scent. I shook myself mentally, steeling myself for what I needed to do. He leaned in to kiss me and my will wavered for a moment… surely it could wait a little longer?  
For the first time ever I pushed Edward away.  
'We can't do this right now Edward, we need to talk.'  
Confused, Edward backed away, I could see hurt in his liquid butterscotch eyes,  
'What is it Bella?'  
I took a deep breath,  
'You know how I get really nervous when I have something to say and then you always try to calm me down and forget what is worrying me by dazzling me with your gorgeous eyes?'  
He laughed his beautiful, musical laugh and leaned in, obviously trying to work his magic.  
'You mean like this?' he whispered, the blood rushed to my cheeks and my pulse started to race, my voice was stuck in my throat  
'Ye-yes exactly like that.' I stuttered 'I- I can never tell you exactly what is on my mind, that's why I wrote it down'  
I handed him the piece of paper I'd been working on all day instead of my English task on Harry Potter.  
'It's the conversation I always wish we'd had….'

-_start of letter-_

**Edward **- What the hell is that?  
**Bella -** Wha...oh my god!  
**Edward:** Bella I thought u said you and Jacob had only kissed once  
**Bella**: We have, it's just that…  
**Bella**: It's just that - Oh, hi Jacob!  
**Jacob:** Hey Bella, I see you did get that naked tattoo of me on your left but cheek like we agreed. Excellent! Do you want to know where I got yours?  
**Edward:** Nooooooo!  
**Bella:** Not right now  
- Aro walks in -  
**Aro:** But I do...  
**All: **Aro!  
**Jacob:** Why did you just say your own name?  
**Aro:** Because... Your face!  
**Aro:** anyway Bella I got a tattoo of your mother, Renee because I know you will wanna claw that off my body right away.  
**Edward -** But...but you promised you would get a tattoo of ME not her stupid mother!  
**Bella **- Edward!  
**Edward: **I'll get a tattoo for you Bella…. Anything you want…  
**Jacob -** Anyone for a Martini? I make a mean Martini  
** Bella: **Hell yes I'm gonna need to be drunk to do what I'm about to do  
**Edward**: What are you about to do  
**Aro:** Yes what are you about to do?  
**Bella:** Well-  
**Jacob:** Seriously guys, my Martini's are orgasmic.  
**Bella:** -Then I'm gonna put it right here-  
**Renee:** I slippers.  
**Bella:** -Then it'll be like 'Waaaahahahahtutututututuuuuuu... pop! Then-  
**Aro:** WHA!  
**Bella:** -Then my cat will do this thing I taught it-  
**Edward:** I want a martini  
**Bella:** The you'll be like 'Oh Bella!' How's that!  
**Renee:** Bella! What the hell are talking about!  
**Bella:** Renee? When did you get here? Seriously did anyone see her come in?  
**Jacob:** ok I have made the martinis everyone! now if you will excuse me I am going to take mine and cozy up to that guy over there...whats his name again  
**Aro:** Hes hot Seth  
**Jacob**: HES GOT WHAT!  
**Aro:** he is HOT SETH  
**Jacob:** oh god then I thought you said something else  
**Emmett:** *burp* Let's party... ummm...Belly!  
**Bella:** It's Bella, actually.  
**Emmett:** Hahahahaha! What? Sorry, I just remembered this joke I heard earlier.  
**Bella:** What Joke?  
**Emmett**: Well I was talking to Renee and she mentioned how you looked like a belly, geddit, _Belly_.  
**Jacob:** I think she looks more like a frog don't you think?  
**Emmett**: no no no she looks like one of those what do you call it? Oh yeah pineapples  
hahah pineapple face  
-says drunkenly-  
**Renee:** why is Aro making out with a Llama?  
**Edward:** Because I told him the llama was Tom Riddle.  
**Jacob:** And why on earth would he want to make out with that snake-faced creep, I mean he's like 70 I think..

**Aro:** A llama? But you felt so good.  
**Llama**: Mmmrrrahhaha.  
**Aro:** What was that? Kill the others? But why?  
**Llama:** Mmmrrrahhaha.  
**Aro:** I see. -shifty eyes-  
-enter Sam-  
**Sam****:** I'm like a wolf, but a man. I'm a wolf-man!  
**Llama:** Mmmrrrahhaha.  
**Sam: **Lord Voldemort?  
**Emmett**: And they say Alice is the crazy one.

**Bella-** Sam! You beautiful hunk of half beast half man!  
**Jacob-** You know he is really hot but when compared to that Llama! whoa i think my heart skipped a beat  
**Aro-** Jacob Black. Back. The. F**k. away. From. My. Llama.  
**Edward-** Ok lets calm down here and let Voldy... I mean the Llama decide who he wants  
-Llama walks over to Albus Dumbledore-  
**Bella **- seriously people who keeps letting these randoms in!

**Dumbledore:** I always loved you Tom!  
**Llama**: Mmmrrrahhaha!  
-Llama + Dumbledore = major making out-  
**Bella:** Oh dear Jesus! Come here Tom; shield me with your hot biceps!  
**Aro:** You said we'd be together forever,Tom! FOREVER!  
**Jacob:** Bitch! Tom is mine!  
**Edward:** Umm... it's a llama.  
**Jacob:** Shut Up! You don't know anything about it! You goddamn tapestry!  
-Gasp-

**Edward:** What did you say?  
**Gollum:** What did you - oh! We see how it is.

**Luke Skywalker**: I need to see Darth Voldy  
**Bella**: it's the llama  
**Luke...** well I'll have you then  
**Jacob**: Oh now if I can't have my Voldy cakes, I will have Bella

**Bella**: No I don't want any of you! The only man I ever loved is making out with Aro!

-Enter Cameron Diaz-

**Bella:** I SWEAR TO GOD IF SOMEONE DOESN'T CLOSE THE F**KING DOOR SOME TERRORIST WILL COME AND KILL US ALL!

**Cameron Diaz**: *said in southern accent*

Coincidently I am here for that very reason

**Edward:** Wait, wait aren't you that chick in that really bad movie about a box?

**All:** OH YER! That really was bad

**Cameron Diaz:** How dare you insult my work!

**Dobby:** What did you say?

**Cameron Diaz:** I said how you dare insult my work, now prepare to die! Because I can and I want you to!

**Llama:** Mmmrememeememem

**Cameron Diaz:** THE BOX!

-Whole place explodes killing everyone-

-_end of letter-_

'Erm Bella…. What exactly are you trying to say?'

_**Authors Note: **__Okay, so please review! Just tell me what you think I'd really like to know, I mean I have heaps more to go. Love it or hate it I just want to know!_


	2. Jacob and Edward

**A/N: Because of the many lovely reviews I have received for this story I thought I should continue. Also because I think it might annoy you **_**Hannabanana**_**, if you want ultimatepencilsharpener to get off fan fiction try getting a real account. (by the way this is set just after eclipse)**

'Erm Bella…. What exactly are you trying to say?' Edward asked, his brow furrowed and his eyes alight with confusion,  
'What I'm trying to say is that you need to loosen up more, you are always so serious! I mean, when Aro was making out with a Llama, you were the only one trying to spoil all the fun and tell him it was a Llama, try to loosen up a little and it will make life better for everyone.' I was surprised that it had taken Edward so long to understand me; I had thought my letter had been clear enough. It was lucky that I was so good at writing these letters because I had no other way I could to communicate with Edward.  
'Why didn't you just say that my love,' Edward murmured softly, 'it would have saved you a lot of time, when we could be doing other things…' he said seductively as he moved closer towards me,  
'Well Edward, my letter was not the bearer of only that message, if you look closely it is a complicated love octagon of vampire, girl, wolf, wolf, boy, llama, snakeface, boy love with subtle mention of house-elf/ Gollum attraction.' Edward raised his eyebrows with his classic _wow, my girlfriend is insane _look on his face and I knew he was about to say something sceptical when the door burst open;

'_Jake!' _we both exclaimed 'what the hell are you doing here?'  
'What?' he asked, a hurt look crossing his beautiful russet coloured face, 'can't a guy drop in on the love of his life and their gorgeous fiancé just to say hi?'  
'As touched as we are by that sentiment, we were kinda in the middle of something here…' I was confused by Jacob's sudden warmth towards Edward, I mean sure, I was glad they didn't seem to be fighting _gorgeous_? That was pushing it a little too far…  
'Don't worry Bella, I'll be out of your hair soon, I just need to talk to Eddie – I mean Cullen – in the other room for a moment'  
Edward and Jake exchanged soulful glances while a sudden idea came to mind,  
'Okay, have fun you two, I'll be right back… I just need to do something…'  
I rushed upstairs as the two of them exchanged confused, yet soulful looks yet again.

_5 and a half minutes later_

I came back down stairs with another letter in my hand, I heard lots of movement coming from the kitchen and entered to find both Edward and Jacob out of breath, I hoped they hadn't been fighting…. I handed them the letter,  
'I think we all need to talk'

_-start of letter-_

**Bella:** You had better explain right now.

**Edward:** Ok, it's not what it looks like….

**Bella:** WHAT! You both have no shirt on, and your in bed together! HOW IS THIS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!

**Edward:** You make fair point…

**Jacob:** Shut up Edward, just tell her what happened.

**Edward:** Well, we were walking down the street when suddenly this vampire came! It lunged at us! The only weapon we had on us was our shirts, so naturally I ripped them off and strangled the vampire…..Then out of no where! This ice demon attacks and blows snow on us! We almost froze to death! So the obvious thing to do was to get into bed together.

**Bella: **The obvious thing to do? So the first thing you thought is, "I'm cold, I know! I'll jump into bed with Jake"

**Edward:** Because our body heat is like a heater and with two people it would up warm faster, god Bella I though you of all people know that.

**Bella:** Both logic and science have taken a serious hit today. Not to mention the big question of, how were either of you cold?

**Jacob:** this is obviously a lot for her to take in …..

**Bella:** How. Can. You. Possibly. Expect. Me. To. Believe. That. Story.

**Edward and Jacob:** We don't.

**Jacob:** But luckily I had my IPhone and recorded the whole thing.

**Edward:** You were recording while I was killing demons?

**Jacob:** Well…yeah I had a feeling that once you ripped my shirt off, that no one would believe this story unless we showed them.

**Edward:** actually, your right good thinking.

**Bella:** Okay…let me see it then.

**-All watch movie-**

**Bella:** Wow! It actually happened! Sorry Edward for accusing you of cheating with my male were-wolf best friend.

**Edward:** That's okay Bella you just have to trust me sometimes.

**Bella:** and sorry Jake, for accusing you too

**Jacob:** Its okay, oh I almost forgot Sam wanted to talk to you about something

**Bella:** okay, TTFN and sorry again.

**Edward:** She gone?

***Jacob looks down the hall***

**Jacob:** Yep

**Edward:** Let me see it again, wow how did you make it!

**Jacob:** its amazing what you can do with Photoshop, movie maker, glue and flour

**Edward:** Flour?

**Jacob:** Don't ask.

_-end of letter-_

'You think we've been doing what?'

**A/N: I hope you like the chapter, please review and let ultimatepencilsharpener know what you think!  
Our motto: **_**Be the change you want to see in this world**_


End file.
